NeighborB

My Caustic Neighbors – exhibit B

NeighborBIn my neighborhood most people have a lawn service cut their grass… except for that creepy guy who never makes eye contact. The neighbors catty-cornered from me also have a lawn service, not once every two weeks like most people, not once a week like some people, but twice a week every week. Doesn’t matter if it is 7:30 in the morning or the evening, or if it is a Saturday, a militia of lawn cutters, blowers and trimmers start their offensive maneuvers with a cacophony of gas powered machinery.

From the number of men clambering around their yard and the size of the riding mower and number of tools, you might think my neighbors have at least a couple of acres. Nope. Not at all. The job should be done in about 3.2 minutes, but it takes forever! They are loud and polluting and annoying!

Caustic Neighbors B are very showy and can’t seem to actually do anything themselves – they hire a company to do everything for them (more on this in a later blog!). So twice a week, without fail, a cloud of dirt rises in the air mingling with the cloud of exhaust air pollution. Nary a rake is to be seen too. Does anyone use a rake anymore? Yes, we do. But we’re weird, you knew that, the creepy guy even thinks so. Leaf blowers are the norm.

So last Saturday, said neighbors had more pallets of sod delivered (see I told you, they hire someone to do everything for them). This is about the third time this year. Then yet another visit from the lawn company followed as they hurriedly laid down the sod on top of the thinned out grass in the yard. The next Monday the monthly visit from the poison distributors came – they spray the entire yard with pesticide every month. Then ANOTHER visit from the lawn people who mowed the new sod! and breathed in all the pesticide that was just sprayed the previous day.

Caustic Neighbors B really cannot connect the too frequent mowing of the grass with the lack of grass? When the yard guys start dropping dead from cancer will Caustic Neighbors B even stop to think that their spraying poison might have contributed?

Nah!