Stripper Cough

Have you ever had a stripper cough? I don’t mean to say you’ve worked as a stripper or that you frequent strip clubs. Hey, I’m not judgin’! I have a stripper cough. I think.


No, I didn’t get a second job down at the “Gentleman’s Club” but I did get the flu. Quite a different flu from what I’ve had in the past. From the flu… or whatever, I got a very bad sinus infection that involved copious amounts of blood and nuclear-plant-green globs that I’m pretty sure did glow in the dark.

I got over it (though it may not seem like it since I’m still talking about it), with a little bit of a lingering dry cough. Then more than a week after I felt all better, I went to the grocery store, which in itself can be a hazard for us folks with environmental illness. Within a few minutes of being in the store I got that fuzzy brain thing, a little light-headed, etc.

By the time I made it to the checkout I asked the cashier if they had fumigated during the previous night. Right away the woman behind me in line spoke up and said she had a headache too. There was only the slightest smell of something chemical in the store, most people wouldn’t notice it. The cashier said they had stripped the floors and she didn’t feel well either.

My dry cough came back full force from that visit to the store, which was nearly two months ago and I still have the annoying cough and scratchy throat off and on. It’s almost like what I would imagine a minor case of asthma would be.

Now I’m going to have to find out if my chemical sensitivity has launched me into further complications or if this cough is due to a worse than usual allergy season here.

See, I’m not a stripper. No offense to anyone who is, I’m just too old!